summer is over?

'Tis true. My summer is over. My summer of working long(ish) hours at the office, my summer of laying on the trampoline soaking up the sun, my summer of reading C.S.Lewis and hanging out with friends. *sigh* It was a marvelous summer. :-)
(not without trials, but i won't go into that)


School starts tomorrow- spent all yesterday at orientation. I'm scared... well, more nervous than scared. I have four classes tomorrow- two of which are senior level courses. ahh! How can I be taking senior classes already?? Didn't I just start college not that long ago? Mary and I go into these conversations of astonishment of this coming school year. Her, a senior in high school and I, a junior in college. I can scarce believe it.

Strength for Today

~~~
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Ps. 27
~~~

I don't have to know about tomorrow, all I need to know is what I am to do today. And that is wait. My LORD will tell me what to do, where to go, or to wait another day. I can survive anything (so far) for a day. As long as I know the end will come, He will strengthen my heart and I will make it through. He is my strength, He will help me through my confusing thoughts and feelings. He is my strength when I am over come with giddiness or tears, or both. He is my strength when girls all around me are getting engaged and married, my best non-sister friend included. He is my strength when I miss someone more than expected. He is my strength when my friends are going through crises and turn to me for help. He is my strength when I don't know how to help them. Or what to say.

~~~
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart. O take and seal it; Seal it for thy courts above.
~~~

Recent Pictures

*my new phone
*WHC grad
*WHC grad
*Andrea and I at a park
*cool shadows at Frontier City
*My Sweetie and me

ARGH

How many times must this keep coming up?

I hate the feeling that one cannot be oneself in every situation. I hate not feeling safe to be me, especially in places where I ought to feel safe. Our church's... 'motto,' I guess, is Western Hills Church, A Safe Place. That's fine. Whatever. But I don't feel safe there. Sure, I don't worry about a psycho in black coming in the back doors and shooting everyone, but there are more than one way to feel unsafe. The un-safe-ness I feel is from judgement, from rumors, from distrust. I guess it's to be expected, coming from a church in which it's a terrible sin to sit by a guy let alone ... gasp!... carry on a conversation with him! Yep, that's what this rant is about...boys. jk. Anyway, back to my point. If I (or others) don't feel safe talking in a safe place, those conversations won't cease, but just change locations. Not saying that I'm going to talk all night on the phone to a guy just because. But I might start feeling safer texting, or emailing him or talking to him elsewhere. This very well could be safe, safe from rumors, but is it truly safe? Of that I'm not so sure.

After several months of hearing things from different people, I try to watch where and when I talk to people of a certain gender.. I keep a running list of people I can't let see me talk to guys, well... guy, because I know I will hear about it later. I don't mind people asking me, but when they assume things and tell other people, or tell me that I am dating someone.... that I don't like. Evidently, contrary to popular belief, one must not get to know someone before beginning a 'relationship,' and being just friends is waay to sinful. :-p that's what I say!

Now, not only at church must I be extra careful, but also online! *Frusterated and sad face* I just don't know what to do anymore! I do not plan to stop my friendships that mean so much to me just because people talk about us.

I want to feel safe at my church. Unfortunately, I highly doubt that will happen. I know I'm not alone because other girls have gone through this very thing, it truly is so sad!

(please excuse any spelling/grammar issues, I'm not in a good mood to fix them.)

My career at Rose is over! :-)

Graduation :-)

My beeeautiful hair up close!











me and "my" guys.


my 'cousin' Gary-- 2nd time we graduated together!


the classic shoe picture

Dancing in the rain

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain!

There are a few times in the year in which I wish I could just sleep the week(s) away. Like now. School is as busy as ever, I have more papers to write than fingers on one hand, tests, quizzes, finals, not to mention all the reading I'm behind in. This quote is not a new one to me... I've heard it so many times. This time though.... I started thinking about how I'm in this storm called 'last few weeks of school' and all I want is the semester to be over, the storm to pass. My life will be full of times just like this- except Lord willing it won't be school- full of times I will just want to stop living for a few days and forget about everything on my to-do list. I don't want to wish my life away, because I love living! So... I have to learn something else. How to dance in the rain.

How can I live my life in a way glorifying to God during a storm?

~Seek ye first the kingdom of God. Another lesson He as been so gracious to begin with me (no, I have not passed that test yet...). Don't you love it when God points out a verse (from any old place you happen to be reading) and it goes along exactly with what has been happening in your life? (Matthew 6:33)

~Rejoice always, and again I say rejoice! (Philippians 4:4)

~Love and obey the Lord. (Deuteronomy 30:6)

Truths
~He will never leave nor forsake me.(Hebrews 13:5)

~He has already given me everything partianing to life and godliness.(2 Peter 1:3)

~He loves me.(Zephaniah 3:17)

PS. if you haven't read Mere Christianity... you should.